Worm has had a long journey.
He has gone from being a rather selfish, impatient, sometimes needy worm, to now being a nicely moulded, patient wriggly thing, who puts My needs before his own.
It took time, but finally he realises what its all about.
Through most of the journey I dont even think worm knew he was being moulded…it was painless….most of the time…
I have asked him to write about it, and this is what he said.
It is almost a year since Goddess came into my life, a year in which i have learned so much and in which that life has been transformed. Like so many who have trod these same steps i was at once enchanted by Her elegance, Her beauty, Her sophistication but perhaps, most of all, by that quality that is indefinable yet so immediately recognisable. i fell under Her hypnotic spell.
Looking back to those early days it is difficult to recognise my own naivety. i knew what i wanted from Her: clips, photos and most of all, frequent contact. Goddess makes crystal clear what She expected: gifts, cash and other tributes. That is it then; all sorted. It’s just like any other deal, only the exact terms have to be negotiated. All this stuff about putting Her needs before my own and being utterly selfless was just to add a bit of excitement to Her site, give lustre to Her image; not to be taken too seriously by those who had been round the block a couple of times, who knew how to strike a deal. Or, so i thought. Those reading this, who have served Goddess longer than i, will find this barely credible. With hindsight i do myself.
i was wrong, Wrong, WRONG!
It is not possible to strike a bargain with Goddess. Her only compromise was my total and abject surrender. i know. i tried. i tried every stratagem i knew: pretence, bribery, ignoring Her, persuasion, arguing – oh, so reasonably. And what did i learn? How did i acquire so many mental scars and emotional bruises? i learned that if i showed any form of dissent Her wroth would strike as a thunderbolt from the heavens but, if i demonstrated respect, obedience, humility, generosity, self-abasement there was a chance, just a chance, the lightening would not come my way.
By embarking upon this approach i found that instead of becoming closer to Her i was drifting away and even in danger of losing Her. And then, much like Paul on the road to Damascus, i saw the light: the answer was staring me in the face. It was obvious. Listen to Her clips, hear what She says, read Her Journal and then. – just do it. Do exactly what she says.
From that moment of revelation i cast off the shackles of my own need and, through my servitude to Her, found liberation. No more resentment at being Her worm, instead i exalt in my humiliation. No longer need i worry about gifts and tributes; it was so simple. i gave Her my credit card. Now She takes all She wants, when She wants it; it is no longer my concern. This has been moderately expensive but it has been, by far, the best investment i have ever made. After all, what price can be placed upon that which is priceless. What do i expect in return? Nothing, nothing whatsoever. I am free, free to relish the sweet pain of my own neglect. It is a both a delight and an honour to be ignored by Her; it shows that She has thought of my needs and made the conscious effort to increase my suffering, perhaps for Her own amusement but sometimes because She just can’t be bothered.
But, i know that She is there, She is watching, She will tell me when i am to please Her and sometimes, just sometimes, if i am very patient, i will receive a gift from Her, a gift beyond value; a gift that make life itself worthwhile. After so many years of arrogance i have learned that i am nothing; only Goddess matters. Through Her i have found my destiny.
Thank You Goddess. i can never repay You but i shall always try.
Perfect dont you think?
Oh I almost forgot.
oh…have a pic, My poor lonely losers…..