When Goddess started posting Her clips on Her 12-step programme, i asked Her if they would be recommended for me.
I thought that I had already passed that stage, and that I had already submitted totally to Goddess.
Goddess told me that they would be good for me… so I watched them.
I thought I would enjoy the clips simply because Goddess was in them, and because Her look in the clips (as the “therapist”, Dr. G. Greed) turned me on so badly… short skirt, pantyhose, elegant high heeled shoes…However, I did not think I would learn anything from them… anything I did not already know.
Yet again, I was mistaken. You see, after having done so many sacrifices for Goddess, I was getting convinced that I had become a “perfect slave” for Her.
That I needed no more improvements in my behaviour, and that Goddess’ guidance was almost no longer necessary.
I would keep serving Her as I have done lately, and things would be just perfect.
The first clips in the programme were just pure enjoyment, as I had expected them to be. I would be turned on so badly that I would never manage to finish watching the clip… an orgasm would surge from inside me, impossible to control or to stop. This, and I reluctantly admit it, despite Goddess forbids Her subs to cum, and She states that quite clearly in the video. I hope She will forgive me for this.
So much for the perfect slave, right? Slowly however, as I watched clip after clip in the 12-step series, Goddess’ message started getting through me more clearly.
Towards the end of the programme, Goddess speaks about the importance of restraint, the importance of not yielding to a moment of quick pleasure in masturbation, but to resist it.
To turn this urge into something selfless… to delay the physical pleasure in order to focus on something more important… pleasing Goddess. With a present, for instance, or with a devotional, like this one.
It wasn’t easy, but I resisted my urge to cum… by focusing on other objects in the room, and on Goddess’ words… on what She was actually asking from me.
Afterwards, I felt owned by Her even more than I usually do. She is not just controlling my body, my sexual needs and desires any more… She has my heart and soul as well. Something that I have started experiencing is that now, every time I watch one of Her clips, and I start hearing Her voice, I immediately switch to a different state of mind….a state of deep awareness and well-being. I feel my brain and my body totally focused on Her, becoming oblivious to all the rest.
I can only be thankful to Goddess for allowing me to go one extra step in my path towards total submission. I am now awaiting for Her permission to release myself which, I hope, will be in Her next clip.